Farm stress tamed with ifarmwell: "I'm a failed farmer, so does that make me a failed person?"

Today, the South Australian wheat and sheep farmer is in Brisbane visiting a new grandson and looking forward to more travel.

Mr Fromm credits part of his recovery to an online program, ifarmwell.

It's designed specifically for farmers. That was important, he said, because of the ethos that "the farm comes first" and the powerful emotional connection of farmers to their land.

In Mr Fromm's own case, drought followed by divorce had forced him to sell all but a third of the family farm.

He was left feeling he'd failed his son, himself and even his forebears.

"The son who had done three years of ag science was going to come back on the farm," Mr Fromm said.

"After selling that land, it was no longer a viable farm for my son to come back, so he went off and got a job elsewhere."

The sense of obligation to his son also extended to the generations of farmers that had come before.

"I was the generation that failed," he said.

"Everyone tells me, 'Well, it's not really your fault,' but you do feel that responsibility."

And, the title of 'farmer' meant far more than just a job.

"Farming is who I am," Mr Fromm said, "but in the end I'm a failed farmer, so does that make me a failed person?"

He's far from alone, according to ifarmwell creator Dr Kate Gunn, who said depression was common in rural areas.

A clinical psychologist and University of South Australia senior research fellow, Dr Gunn grew up on a farm and saw firsthand the challenges, often beyond farmers' control, that can damage mental health.

Knowing that many farmers were reluctant to seek help and, that even when they were ready to reach out, help could be hard to find, Dr Gunn wanted ifarmwell to be accessible and practical.

It's proven a success since its 2018 launch. Farmers who have used ifarmwell not only see improvements in their wellbeing, Dr Gunn said, follow-up surveys showed those gains last.

Entirely online, confidential and free, the five-module program is easy to access, no matter how remote the farm, but ifarmwell also has a real-world safety net.

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It begins with a questionnaire and, if a farmer's answers suggest they are highly distressed and face-to-face professional help is needed, the ifarmwell team phones them personally.

Those calls have turned out to be an eye-opener for researchers as well as participants.

"Many people don't realise just how much things have got on top of them," Dr Gunn said.

"When we call, a lot of highly-distressed people say, 'Oh heck, yeah, I had no idea that it was that serious,' and really appreciate the call."

"Do it when you don't need it. Investing in these sorts of things for your wellbeing before you actually need them is wise because none of us really know what's around the corner.

"If you've got a few extra strategies up your sleeve, when a stressful event does come along, you will manage a whole lot better and save a whole lot of time and mistakes."

If someone does need additional help, they are presented with a personalized script to take to local doctors because, Dr Gunn said, many farmers say they find it hard to explain their challenges to someone who didn't understand their way of life.

It hadn't been an easy conversation for Mr Fromm, either. He was shocked to be prescribed antidepressants but amazed to find they lifted a "massive weight" from his shoulders in less than a week.

Over the years, he made a total recovery from depression and the experience had changed him.

"My resilience can be likened to a rubber band," Mr Fromm said.

"If you overstretch a rubber band, it might not break, but it's over stretched. It will never go back to the same as it was before.

"I am not the person that I was before but it's a matter of managing what you've got."

The ifarmwell program and other counselling equipped him and other farmers with new tactics to get through tough times.

"We've got these little survival techniques that we use," Mr Fromm said.

"Being able to recognise the stories in your head and find ways to make progress in your life regardless of them, really does give that light at the end of the tunnel instead of that terrible dark place where you've just got no hope and can't see any way out of it, so strategies are important."

He's learnt to focus on the positives. Losing the house he had bought at 19 then lived in with his ex-wife and leasing out the remaining portion of their once-sizeable farm did have a silver lining.

"I've moved into an old house where I grew up and it had a good vibe because it had a lot of happy memories from when I was a kid," Mr Fromm said.

"I can live a modest sort of life on the lease payments, and it actually gives me an opportunity to do a bit of traveling and do things I never would have had the opportunity to do if things had gone the way I wanted.

"It's a matter of focusing your attention on the positive things. I have a lot of happy times."

ifarmwell is available online free of charge to farmers anywhere in Australia.

The website relies on videos, cartoons and text messages to communicate with farmers in a straightforward way, Dr Gunn said, sometimes using humour without trivialising the situation.

New features include an option for people working directly with farmers such as agronomists to refer their clients to ifarmwell, and to encourage their progress through the modules.

Other new updates include a self-guided wellbeing check-up and the ability for farmers who might be a bit worried about someone but not sure how to help, to easily share ifarmwell with a friend.

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