BUSINESS BUZZ: People pleasing ways can be overcome

These questions have nothing to do with being egotistical, they are self-worth questions.

I never thought I would be doing a book review for this column, but this article was inspired by a great book called From People Pleaser to Soul Pleaser, by Tracy Secombe.

More people are now understanding the power of their emotions, and just how much they impact all aspects of our lives. While you can't control everything that happens in life, you can control how you react. We all have this choice.

The first part of the book outlines the main issue that many of us have been conditioned by our upbringing to be people pleasers.

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I think this is particularly prevalent in the country, where the expectation and desire to serve the community is writ large.

Tracy has a six-step process to deal with this preconditioning.

You don't need to acquiesce to anyone's view of who you should be, or what you should do. It's not selfish to do what really floats your boat. You'll invariably be happier and make a positive difference to those around you. The first step is recognising this. It can sometimes be difficult to break through the conditioning that got you here in the first place.

In this context, surrender means to yourself, so you are able to move forward. I suspect for most people, being able to change will take some deep soul searching, and may require a mentor or someone to guide you through this process. There are people out there with these skills, including the author of this book.

Deep within everyone is an innate desire to be the best they can be. This can get buried by conditioning, particularly in our formative years. In this step it's important to ask yourself "what is right for me". To master this part will require connecting with your inner self.

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As the book says, do you want to change, or to remain the same? For the majority of people, the idea of connecting into their inner self is a foreign concept, but it's worth the effort.

It's not selfish to be you. Finding your why is a big part of this step, and most importantly following through on your promise to yourself. I like this quote from the book "change your why - be you - be more you". Momentum is key.

This step is the logical conclusion, and is wonderful when you're there. Once you realise you are enough, and were always enough, life will become much more pleasurable. Being you is so important.

I think this book is mainly about being the best version of yourself. This will not only benefit you but also everyone around you.

Life is wonderful, and we all have the same opportunity to live the best life possible.